Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Her Life - A Reverie

She was tired and was lying on her bed. She was continuously tossing and turning going through her usual uneasy sleep. She wasn’t definitely asleep actually.


Since the time he had left her, this is what sleep had become to her. She was constantly hanging somewhere in between is some painful state of trance. But she never complained. It was just 6 months since the time he left her. She had this dream awaiting of becoming his lady soon. A certain girl she was who was a little shy with others and the only person she would feel comfortable with wasn’t there unfortunately.


He had left her and nothing stopped him from leaving then. Not even her pair of innocent, affectionate, scared – about to water, eyes. He had to leave since he had received a call for help from his first love of his life after all.


He was this handsome man with a very well built strong body. His image of this rough man in a uniform was glued to her eyes and mind ever since. The last few moments she had spent with him was one evening – when he’d come to meet her for one last time at the place they always met; looked at her in the most beautiful manner, came forth and kissed her forehead, looked into her eyes assuring he’ll be back holding her face. This played repeatedly in her mind. She’d left for home and gone to sleep then; assuring herself it’ll all turn out to be a silly dream the next day.


*

Somehow every night the same film played in her mind and every single time it was so real. She could actually feel his rough palms as they caressed her cheeks, his rock solid warm arms, and his body smell when he had hugged her one last time. That firm kiss he had given her, still kept that part of her forehead warm. She felt then how he had torn himself away from her and headed out, leaving her behind with only left over, and lingering warmth. And that warmth returned every night. Every night they came together and became a single picture of him holding her face; that he then tore away taking a little paper from her side of the picture with him.


 *

That night he came again with all his warmth swirling around him. When he tore away this time, she woke up all scared, sweating and shivering. She could feel pounding of a beat in every limb of her body. She wanted him to hold her. Big tears rolled down her cheeks. She clenched his arm with one hand and placed her other hand on his chest and expressed her most desperate wish, “Come Back. Please.” All of a sudden the door opened slowly and he entered. He came near her bed and smiled down at her. Her heart could not comprehend if it was a mere dream or for real. Had months really passed by since he had left? Had she really not slept for all these countless nights? Or was it just a nightmare? Was he really back? She immediately turned on the light and could see he was still there. A tear rolled down her cheek out of relief and she ran and hugged him tight.


“It has ended”, he said, “And I’m back. Now on I’m never leaving you. It’s over.”


She folded herself inside him. This made her now feel the difference of his actually physical presence that she felt now and that she had felt during all those lonely nights. Everything was so real. His body was even warmer, his smell was stronger, his arms were harder and his palms were rougher. Gradually she stopped shivering and shaking and she fell asleep in his arms for the first time in months.


*

Immediately there was a harsh knock on the door and she woke up. It was still night and she got up to the door. He had held her. He asked, “How do you feel now?” She nodded and smiled, “Happy, I am not going to let you leave again ever.” “It has ended my love and I’m back never to leave u again.” he said. She smiled brightly and widely. He laid back and she went to open the door. Her sister stood there filled with high adrenalin, all sweat and tears. She held her wrist and pulled her to the verandah of their home.


A lot of men in uniform she saw. She was left perplexed. She moved a little forward and saw his parents there too. His mother’s face was hidden deep inside his father’s chest. She shook uncontrollably and he tried to contain her in his two wrinkled human hands. Her sister came from behind and hugged her wetting her shoulder. She pulled herself away with a drift and looked at her with questioning eyes. His mother fell on the ground on her knees all of a sudden. She looked down to see him sleeping in his uniform, covered with a white sheet. He looked serene. She kept staring at the picture that was hard to believe. “Di, speak up, say something!” here sister shook her hard shrieking out her harsh words. That woke her up. She could see things clearly now but she couldn’t respond. She didn’t want to be so awake. What kind of sick joke Almighty had made her life to be? She felt dizzy, tired and started shivering again. A terrible mix of too many emotions she was feeling and all of a sudden his voice rang in her head. That infused calmness inside her and she looked at her sister.


“He is back now and promised never to leave me again! Everything has ended. Its over.”


*

She walked back to her room. She lied down on her bed and closed her eyes. She was scared that things might change. As she did this he wrapped his hands around her. She felt complete as a woman. It was all perfect and she then decided never to open her eyes again. And as she breathed in his smell, his warmth and his touch; he engulfed her completely.