It was a weekend when I generally get into touch with so many of my friends on calls or in person, share a good conversation while sipping my favorite cup of coffee. Speaking to them I could sometimes feel that a majority of them used to be under trauma due to the troubled relationships they would share – be it with their boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. Initially I used to feel that it is a saddest thing in a relationship when a man cannot see a woman’s worth. With time my thinking has changed. I now feel that a man who fails to realize or acknowledge his woman’s worth is pitiful.
Let us go back to our past ladies, when as girls we used to be school kids. As young girls, we generally were the sensitive ones. I used to see myself being happy on little moments, at the same time being affected by frivolous matters. As kids, we always were happy to be our teacher’s pet, our faces lit on getting a ‘Good’ or a ‘Star’ remark on our report cards. As we grew older our spirits used to rise on - getting good grades / setting an example for any small matter for an entire class / being nominated to become a class monitor / winning the debate or creative writing competitions / being put as the best dancers in the front row and what not?!
Then came the high school when the adolescent brains started responding in a different manner. As teens we girls start experiencing the ‘pretty pressure’ with an over-focus about our appearances. We would experience infatuations or so-called crushes. We would not prefer being just addressed as a brilliant/decent student, but also being called ‘beautiful/pretty/charming’ girl. There would be times when there were chances of the negative thoughts surrounding ourselves and making us feel low, feeling of small failures holding us back and hampering our confidence, times when we would succumb to the ‘need to please’ factors , considering ourselves as mediocre, resisting in learning new things and focusing on our weaknesses rather than our actual strengths.
After passing through all these struggles and phases of life, I get disappointed to see and say that many women regardless of any age still seem to have not come out of the same!
They settle for men who would treat them with dis-respect, for men who would be directionless, for men out of the peer-pressure of marriage and age, for men on rebound due to a failed past relationship, for men for their emotional needs and security, for men for what would the society think if they would live alone or independent, for men for all the wrong reasons and not love!
How will you attain/demand a man’s/anyone’s respect?? You can’t threaten or yell at them to give you one. That won’t get you any far. As a woman one should have that within herself at first not to put up with any kind of disrespect. Absence of self-esteem will most likely refrain others from giving you the ultimate respect that you deserve!
When you would feel negative/inferior about yourself, devoid of self-love, how would you even think of positive forces and the good things getting attracted to you?
When you would be paralyzed by your fears, how would you gain that courage to tread on your own path and pursue things that truly make you a happy person?
When you would be busy pleasing others, acting as per their requirements, meeting un-realistic expectations and doing things out of pressure or half-heatedly, how would you even experience that feeling of contentment during the end of the day?
When you won’t stop looking at yourself through a broken reflection – how would you ever realize that you are not unattractive / worthless / unlovable as you think?
It’s high time for all the ladies to look through a clear reflection and recognize your true beauty! There’s always so much beautiful about a woman’s presence and grace when she values herself.
When you will begin to carry yourself like the valuable being you are – that’s when you will begin to silently attain anybody’s respect!
When you would drop your worries, worrying about every single thing that happens in life and not seeing that there is always a reason behind it – that’s when that burden on your body, mind and soul would be vanished!
When you would realize that life is not a race / contest and you are not put here to accomplish things on time – be it getting a job / going overseas / getting married / having a baby – that’s when you would develop the faith that you are exactly where you need to be and appreciate the moment!
When you would surround yourself with positivity and courage – that’s when you would filter out the people who ridicule or judge, be it your own boyfriend/fiancé/husband and develop that belief in your path on what you want in life!
Always remember, everybody is beautiful and unique in their own way. You are all the possible adjectives – Amazing, Creative, Inspiring, Pretty, Playful, Bold, Brave, Joyous that one might ever think about! Accept and love yourself and feel proud about who you really are! Be kind and be patient to yourself, the smoke will clear with time and life will be a whole lot brighter!
A small incident I’d like to share, It was this time when I was traveling on foot for my some work in a
bylane of a bylane in one of the very old area of the ahmedabad
city. It was some Christmas time ‘2011, and the innumerable narrow lanes
in the area resembled the ‘veins’ in a human body. These houses looked
rickety but tempting. They were painted in a specific ancient pattern.
The road I was traveling through was a so-called Hindu area. My eyes
caught the sight of a highly decorated crib where baby jesus was just
born. There were these huge speakers next to the crib, with loud music
to which a 10 yr old was dancing. And the song on which he was dancing
was this composition by Pakistani sufi rock band, ‘Sayoneeee, chain ek
pal nahiiii’!! My country cutessttt! :)
I have been
fascinated by ants since childhood. I don’t know if we had more
worthwhile things to do back in those days when we were a 3-4 yrs old,
but we spent quality time following the trail of ants in houses/ walls/
terraces, dint we?. How beautifully they kissed and greeted each other
while they moved in opposite directions along a line. Not an ant was
missed in this greeting process. After many years of
ignoring these tiny living beings, yesterday to my surprise i saw a
black ant scurrying over my arms, as if in some major hurry to achieve
something! Abruptly, my mind concocted a metaphor. How
different are we humans from those tiny creatures? Their entire life is
about working, eating sleeping, reproducing. But that’s exactly what we
as humans do too. Isn’t it?! As for ‘Working’, of whatever I know, a
large part involves collection and storage of food. Here I am talking
about the ants, not some trip to the grocery store. But
we, of course are smarter and ‘evolved’ as they say, aren’t we? We work
too, but for MONEY?!! We obviously fail to see that even this is to buy
food, clothing and a place to see- if we consider basic requirements. So
basically, we just take a longer route, while we slog at work, get paid
at the end of the month and then go buy food with it. The ants just go
out and get food directly (quite often from our kitchen compartments
too)! What else can money buy? Clothes? Ants don’t need them. Travel? They don’t need tickets and passports. Discotheques? They can dance whenever they want, they don’t need pretentious time and place for it. Just list anything else that comes to your mind and see what the ants do instead Just one innocent tiny God’s creature can so wondrously put the whole pride of being ‘more evolved’ as species to pretense. I say, Wake Up! See that just mere physical structure difference or money doesn’t set us apart! We
still are a worker ant, slogging away to eternity. One needs to Excel
in life by growing as a person, by growing as a good human and not just
by mere promotions! This ability to be able to meditate is
only given us, isn’t it! One wouldn’t see an ant sitting cross legged
with palms on thighs breathing deeply. The entire life of humans has
been about: waking up- go to school/college/ work- come back home- eat-
watch tv/talk/etc.- sleep. On weekends- go for movies/ hangout with
friends. And then of course, the occasional vacations. 25/30 years of
your life have passed by and it only feels like yesterday right? Well,
another 30 will pass in the same way. And all people will remember you
as some CEO of some company. If that’s just the case in reality, Sad it
is! Let’s hope that doesn't happen. Let’s live, lets experience something that we have never ever before in life. Let’s
get some exposure of the different flavors that life has to offer. I
can promise one thing with the experience that I have. The satisfaction
that one would get when one child hugs you will be unmatched to the
‘happiness’ you’ll get with your promotions. Go to an orphanage; adopt a
child’s education- for as long as one can. Go to an old age home, take
up some medical bills. Enroll for those teaching programs. OR SIMPLY
ANYTHING SIMPLE! The time to explore these little things
is NOW. One will always have a choice. There is a choice to transcend
into infinity and evolve yourself beyond a state of being human or, just
scurry along crazily, for just tiny pieces of sugar!
" To laugh often and much, To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, Whether by a healthy child, A garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. . . This is to have SUCCEEDED! " - Ralph Waldo Emerson
She was tired and was
lying on her bed. She was continuously tossing and turning going through
her usual uneasy sleep. She wasn’t definitely asleep actually.
the time he had left her, this is what sleep had become to her. She was
constantly hanging somewhere in between is some painful state of
trance. But she never complained. It was just 6 months since the time he
left her. She had this dream awaiting of becoming his lady soon. A
certain girl she was who was a little shy with others and the only
person she would feel comfortable with wasn’t there unfortunately.
had left her and nothing stopped him from leaving then. Not even her
pair of innocent, affectionate, scared – about to water, eyes. He had to
leave since he had received a call for help from his first love of his
life after all.
He was this handsome man with a very well
built strong body. His image of this rough man in a uniform was glued to
her eyes and mind ever since. The last few moments she had spent with
him was one evening – when he’d come to meet her for one last time at
the place they always met; looked at her in the most beautiful manner,
came forth and kissed her forehead, looked into her eyes assuring he’ll
be back holding her face. This played repeatedly in her mind. She’d left
for home and gone to sleep then; assuring herself it’ll all turn out to
be a silly dream the next day.
every night the same film played in her mind and every single time it
was so real. She could actually feel his rough palms as they caressed
her cheeks, his rock solid warm arms, and his body smell when he had
hugged her one last time. That firm kiss he had given her, still kept
that part of her forehead warm. She felt then how he had torn himself
away from her and headed out, leaving her behind with only left over,
and lingering warmth. And that warmth returned every night. Every night
they came together and became a single picture of him holding her face;
that he then tore away taking a little paper from her side of the
picture with him.
That night he came
again with all his warmth swirling around him. When he tore away this
time, she woke up all scared, sweating and shivering. She could feel
pounding of a beat in every limb of her body. She wanted him to hold
her. Big tears rolled down her cheeks. She clenched his arm with one
hand and placed her other hand on his chest and expressed her most
desperate wish, “Come Back. Please.” All of a sudden the door opened
slowly and he entered. He came near her bed and smiled down at her. Her
heart could not comprehend if it was a mere dream or for real. Had
months really passed by since he had left? Had she really not slept for
all these countless nights? Or was it just a nightmare? Was he really
back? She immediately turned on the light and could see he was still
there. A tear rolled down her cheek out of relief and she ran and hugged
“It has ended”, he said, “And I’m back. Now on I’m never leaving you. It’s over.”
folded herself inside him. This made her now feel the difference of his
actually physical presence that she felt now and that she had felt
during all those lonely nights. Everything was so real. His body was
even warmer, his smell was stronger, his arms were harder and his palms
were rougher. Gradually she stopped shivering and shaking and she fell
asleep in his arms for the first time in months.
there was a harsh knock on the door and she woke up. It was still night
and she got up to the door. He had held her. He asked, “How do you feel
now?” She nodded and smiled, “Happy, I am not going to let you leave
again ever.” “It has ended my love and I’m back never to leave u again.”
he said. She smiled brightly and widely. He laid back and she went to
open the door. Her sister stood there filled with high adrenalin, all
sweat and tears. She held her wrist and pulled her to the verandah of
A lot of men in uniform she saw. She was left
perplexed. She moved a little forward and saw his parents there too. His
mother’s face was hidden deep inside his father’s chest. She shook
uncontrollably and he tried to contain her in his two wrinkled human
hands. Her sister came from behind and hugged her wetting her shoulder.
She pulled herself away with a drift and looked at her with questioning
eyes. His mother fell on the ground on her knees all of a sudden. She
looked down to see him sleeping in his uniform, covered with a white
sheet. He looked serene. She kept staring at the picture that was hard
to believe. “Di, speak up, say something!” here sister shook her hard
shrieking out her harsh words. That woke her up. She could see things
clearly now but she couldn’t respond. She didn’t want to be so awake.
What kind of sick joke Almighty had made her life to be? She felt dizzy,
tired and started shivering again. A terrible mix of too many emotions
she was feeling and all of a sudden his voice rang in her head. That
infused calmness inside her and she looked at her sister.
“He is back now and promised never to leave me again! Everything has ended. Its over.”
walked back to her room. She lied down on her bed and closed her eyes.
She was scared that things might change. As she did this he wrapped his
hands around her. She felt complete as a woman. It was all perfect and
she then decided never to open her eyes again. And as she breathed in
his smell, his warmth and his touch; he engulfed her completely.
Grabbed in a storm of two minds
It doesn't seem it'll be over soon
An indecisive struggle my boat fights
Riding tides made by the moon
And though the storm will end
Will my boat make it through?
How many more days and how many more nights
Will my boat deal with this typhoon?
Sea water is rough and the gales very strong
My boat is only made of wood
It could sink or sail away
Into the distance forever for good
Grabbed in a battle of two conflicting kinds
And it doesn’t seem it’ll be over soon
Oh what will be my boat’s plight?
Would it set sails against the winds
Or anchor against the sea’s might?
Would my boat stay put
Or would it put up a fight?
chirpy, average, sweet, simple n affectionate :)
The name of my blog—Carpe Diem literally means "seize the day". It’s used as an admonition to seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.