Sunday, November 27, 2016

Dear ladies, realize your self worth!

It was a weekend when I generally get into touch with so many of my friends on calls or in person, share a good conversation while sipping my favorite cup of coffee. Speaking to them I could sometimes feel that a majority of them used to be under trauma due to the troubled relationships they would share – be it with their boyfriends/fiancĂ©s/husbands. Initially I used to feel that it is a saddest thing in a relationship when a man cannot see a woman’s worth. With time my thinking has changed. I now feel that a man who fails to realize or acknowledge his woman’s worth is pitiful.
Let us go back to our past ladies, when as girls we used to be school kids. As young girls, we generally were the sensitive ones. I used to see myself being happy on little moments, at the same time being affected by frivolous matters. As kids, we always were happy to be our teacher’s pet, our faces lit on getting a ‘Good’ or a ‘Star’ remark on our report cards. As we grew older our spirits used to rise on - getting good grades / setting an example for any small matter for an entire class / being nominated to become a class monitor / winning the debate or creative writing competitions / being put as the best dancers in the front row and what not?!
Then came the high school when the adolescent brains started responding in a different manner. As teens we girls start experiencing the ‘pretty pressure’ with an over-focus about our appearances. We would experience infatuations or so-called crushes. We would not prefer being just addressed as a brilliant/decent student, but also being called ‘beautiful/pretty/charming’ girl. There would be times when there were chances of the negative thoughts surrounding ourselves and making us feel low, feeling of small failures holding us back and hampering our confidence, times when we would succumb to the ‘need to please’ factors , considering ourselves as mediocre, resisting in learning new things and focusing on our weaknesses rather than our actual strengths.
After passing through all these struggles and phases of life, I get disappointed to see and say that many women regardless of any age still seem to have not come out of the same!

They settle for men who would treat them with dis-respect, for men who would be directionless, for men out of the peer-pressure of marriage and age, for men on rebound due to a failed past relationship, for men for their emotional needs and security, for men for what would the society think if they would live alone or independent, for men for all the wrong reasons and not love!

How will you attain/demand a man’s/anyone’s respect?? You can’t threaten or yell at them to give you one. That won’t get you any far. As a woman one should have that within herself at first not to put up with any kind of disrespect. Absence of self-esteem will most likely refrain others from giving you the ultimate respect that you deserve!
When you would feel negative/inferior about yourself, devoid of self-love, how would you even think of positive forces and the good things getting attracted to you?
When you would be paralyzed by your fears, how would you gain that courage to tread on your own path and pursue things that truly make you a happy person?

When you would be busy pleasing others, acting as per their requirements, meeting un-realistic expectations and doing things out of pressure or half-heatedly, how would you even experience that feeling of contentment during the end of the day?

When you won’t stop looking at yourself through a broken reflection – how would you ever realize that you are not unattractive / worthless / unlovable as you think?
It’s high time for all the ladies to look through a clear reflection and recognize your true beauty! There’s always so much beautiful about a woman’s presence and grace when she values herself.
When you will begin to carry yourself like the valuable being you are – that’s when you will begin to silently attain anybody’s respect!

When you would drop your worries, worrying about every single thing that happens in life and not seeing that there is always a reason behind it – that’s when that burden on your body, mind and soul would be vanished!

When you would realize that life is not a race / contest and you are not put here to accomplish things on time – be it getting a job / going overseas / getting married / having a baby – that’s when you would develop the faith that you are exactly where you need to be and appreciate the moment!

When you would surround yourself with positivity and courage – that’s when you would filter out the people who ridicule or judge, be it your own boyfriend/fiancĂ©/husband and develop that belief in your path on what you want in life!

Always remember, everybody is beautiful and unique in their own way. You are all the possible adjectives – Amazing, Creative, Inspiring, Pretty, Playful, Bold, Brave, Joyous that one might ever think about! Accept and love yourself and feel proud about who you really are! Be kind and be patient to yourself, the smoke will clear with time and life will be a whole lot brighter!



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